Why CBC Began
WHY: Why did I become compelled by Christ? It was a short four day mission trip to Honduras that seemed just like any other trip to Honduras. Our group painted the interior of a church, fed a village, and had fellowship with the Honduran people while worshiping God together. Each trip to Honduras has had four things in common: we work hard, we fellowship with the people, we worship God, and God shows up BIG. On this trip we painted so efficiently that we had extra down time. We decided to visit an orphanage in San Pedro Sula.
When we arrived at the facility it looked more like a juvenile detention center than it did an orphanage. Barbed wire was fastened atop the tall concrete walls. As we drove through the gate, it quickly shut behind us. The van we were driving came to an abrupt stop as we heard two loud thuds on the outside of the vehicle. As we all looked around, I spotted an older boy pointing demonstratively at another boy who must have thrown stones at the van. He still had some of the evidence in his palm. I wondered what had we gotten ourselves into?
As we ventured into the facility, my heart was taken back as we witnessed living conditions that shook me to the point where I had to take a moment to compose myself before continuing. The toddler play room had no toys, it was just a 12 X 15 room with two barred windows that were impossible to see through with all the fencing materials attached to the bars and walls. A little 6 year old girl named Wendy was the gate keeper for the toddler room. She would enter the room to check on the children. Each time she entered she would lock the door behind her so no one could escape. Little Wendy would report to an adult if one of the children was injured enough to where they needed her medical attention. Most of the children were locked in this room most of the day with nothing to do but exist. I nearly lost it as our group witnessed older children that had mental health issues physically abusing some of the toddlers. These older children could not be left with children their age because they would be the victims of abuse themselves. It was a horrific scene.
Next, we visited the nursery which had 37 babies. There were 2 babies in some of the cribs because there weren’t enough cribs to accommodate all of them. The two workers in the nursery couldn’t keep up with feeding the babies let alone changing all the diapers. Some of the babies were malnourished as ribs showed through fragile bodies. Some of the babies were expressionless. Most of the babies didn’t cry and I found that odd since there were so many babies in this nursery. But what is the point of crying when crying isn’t going to evoke a response from anyone. After a while, some of the babies started to respond to physical touch, facial interactions, and playing. When we left the baby room my heart broke as all the babies we were holding started crying in unison. It was hard to leave.
The older children (6 to 14 years old) were left to fend for themselves, as the motto seemed to be 'only the strong survive'. Any kind of attention is good, even if you have to hit another child to get that negative attention from visitors. As I arrived home I found myself crying uncontrollably during morning devotions. I couldn’t sleep at night. I constantly kept seeing the tormented, sad, deep brown eyes of a 2 year old girl named Gabriella. I had a recurring dream each night. Gabriella was asking me, "What are you going to do to help me? What are you going to do to help me?"
WHAT: "What are you going to do to help me?" When I tried to sleep all I could see in my mind was Gabby asking me over and over again "What are you going to do to help me?" I cried out to God and asked “What do you want me to do with this?” I asked God to take away this burden away from me, not knowing what I could do. The burden for those kids in their distress wouldn’t leave me, yet I didn’t feel equipped to do anything. What could I do?
I came up with many reasons why I shouldn’t do anything, but I felt God was calling me to do something which trumped all those other reasons. He showed me through studying some of the leaders in the Bible that He could use anyone to do His work. I felt a lot like Moses, not that I am a great leader, but because at the beginning he didn’t know what to say, or what to do, and he finally told God he just didn’t want to do it. I ran through all those emotions and excuses, but I figured if He could make a donkey talk, He might be able to make me sound intelligent.
HOW: How could I minister to those children in need with me being here and them being trapped in an orphanage in Honduras? I was a world away and had no idea how to start. I raised some money to do a vacation bible school there. A local church (Centro Cristiano La Roca) brought a group of members who began to minister using the supplies we brought, but it wasn’t enough. I was encouraged by their church as they wanted to care for the poor and needy children. The hope of Jesus would be talked about, but then their lives in that place seemed to have no hope. Even though the church was having a positive impact on the kids, their circumstances were not changing. I felt that this wasn’t enough, but as I tried to do more I became discouraged, disillusioned, and decided to quit because I couldn’t make the impact I had wanted.
I thought God should work out all the details because He should want those kids to have a better life. My misguided thinking had me assume that things should go easier than they were going. I thought that it can't be God's will if there are this many obstacles slowing and stopping progress. I soon realized God's timeline isn't the same as mine and as I continued to pray for guidance and seek him, he showed me how I didn’t trust him fully. That enlightenment shook me up a bit to say the least, because until this time, I believed that I was trusting God fully. As I continued on, God started opening up doors and began sending people that he has chosen to help. Since I was finally to a place where he could use me, I had to figure out how to get aligned with where he wanted to take us. He brought me partners that possess the same passion for reaching lost people with the gospel, while caring for the poor and the fatherless. As I prayed over the next few days, I wondered who else God was going to send to help us. Who would He send and would they be willing to listen to his call? Maybe God is calling you to help us. We are in the beginning stages of God doing something big. He has worked so many things out and has brought people into my life that want to make a difference in the lives of children. If you are searching for a way to be involved in life changing events please contact me by entering your information on our Contact Us page.